So last night I was feeling down in the dumps...again. And I just couldn't really pin down why I felt so down! One theory is that nursing or not- you still get hormonal once a month! :D So I went off to work in hopes that I'd find an answer to my sour mood. And I will say that the temple is a great place to think over your problems and find answers. Even though I am there to work, if I go there with a problem I come out feeling so much better! So last night I whittled my issue down to one question- who am I??? I was feeling overwhelmed with all my "projects" and trying to do everything and be everything that I've kinda lost who Megan REALLY is. So here is who I KNOW I am.......
- I'm a funny girl! I love making people laugh even if I look like a bozo doing it!
-I'm an avid reader.I LOVE to read!!! L-O-V-E!!!
-I'm an artist, and this is something I've neglected. I use to fill a sketch pad up in a week and a half. Sure, I have kids so there is less time, but not drawing at least once a week is not cool
-I'm a chill mom! We don't follow a strict schedule- we like to chilllll and go with the flooowwww.
-I'm a tom boy! Even at 26! Jeans and t-shirts are the best!!
So along with a list of what I AM, I needed a list of what I'm NOT and it's OK!!!
-I'm not a girly girl....I have learned and love some girly things like painting my toes and wearing bracelets, but that's it! No fancy clothes, no done up hair, no heels- it's not me and it's OK!
- I'm not thin :D I'M NOT!!!! And it's OK!!! Granted I do need to shape up a bit to be healthy, but I'm not the size 5 woman who's dresses to the nines with her perfectly presented kids in the back of her SUV and I never will be.
-I'm not super mom. I can't juggle piano lessons, dance lessons, school, PTA, book club, yoga group, and not want to just DIE! Some people can do it and that's them, and that's great! But it's not me and it's OK!!!
-I'm not a super crafter. I LOVE doing crafts, but I need to be more choosy. I can't expect myself to do everything just because I physically CAN do it. I need to find the crafts and projects I LOVE and just admire the rest :)
So what next?! How about what I WANT to become!
- I want to become a better daughter of God. I want to amp up my spiritual side in a huge way! For me and for my family. The visiting teaching message in the Ensign was about raising up a righteous generation and not letting our children forget our beliefs. I do not want that to happen to my kids and the only way to do it is to bring more of the spiritual teachings into my home.
- I want to be a better mom. I HATE when I get irritated with my kids.I feel like such a jerk after I have a melt down. Who wants a mom like that???
- I want to be a better Megan.I want to magnify my talents and just be me.I don't want to shove myself into a little box and feel like I have to do the things everyone else is doing. If it is something I enjoy then SURE, but if it is something I feel lukewarm about- I'm skippin it! :D AND IT'S OK!!!
So it is a start. I think my little list therapy has helped! Kinda like a talk in church- this post has more meaning for me than you, but I appreciate all the wonderful friends and family I have who keep track of me :) I also promise that a happier post will be fast on the heels of this one. I just have to get my other pics from Riley's phone and it'll be time to share the happiest place in the world with you :D
8 comments:
You know, I have these conversations with myself pretty often. I still haven't figured out 100% who I am, who I want to be, and who I'm not. It was nice to read your list to get me thinking as well as realize that I'm not alone in my battle through life. Well, good luck becoming the improved Megan!
good post. I should do one too.
Wow! 26 and your so amazing and deep. I think you are a very down to earth young lady. Your post was helpful to me as well. Being 50 has hit me really hard. Im going to use your method of self evaluation and see if it helps me with my Blahs. Do you think the seasonal change might be effecting you,it does me. I have a difficult time letting go of the warm weather and embracing the cold. I love you, Auntie
Thank-you for sharing that post!! I think I needed that :) You are such a great mom and your little kiddos are happy and healthy and sweet as can be!! I have times when I too have to sit down and figure out who I am at that stage of life...it helps us to be better moms, better wives, and better daughters of God. Love you Megan!!
That was a great post Meg, but you forgot to mention that you ARE a wonderful friend and sister. I love you!
Thank you ALL for the sweet comments! You're all awesome friends and sisters! :D
I knew I liked you! We are very similar! I love this post :) I am so glad we are friends!! You are an awesome mama and you've got a couple of adorable kiddos!
One thing I LOVE about you Megan is that your 100% R-E-A-L!! You are the perfect fit for Riley and we couldn't ask for a better sister-in-law!! You are an amazing,talented and loving person and I admire you so much!!! LOve ya!!!
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